


Lucky

by lucybeee



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket (Anime 2019), Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)
Genre: Anxiety, Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Love, New Parents, Post Manga
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:01:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26298346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucybeee/pseuds/lucybeee
Summary: As a new mom, Tohru faces some anxiety struggles that most young women don't have to go through.Random fluffy drabble. T for language.
Relationships: Honda Tohru/Sohma Kyou
Comments: 5
Kudos: 89





	Lucky

**Author's Note:**

> Furuba social medias: riceballcatfb on Instagram, Tumblr, and Twitter
> 
> Post-manga, so spoilers, but nothing you don't know already if you frequent this website lol.

Tohru had always been good with kids. She absolutely loved them and their innocent hearts; they were so optimistic and happy, usually not yet jaded by the world. They were always drawn to her, and her to them. There was never any doubt in her mind that she wanted children of her own someday.

So, when she and Kyo found out they were expecting their first child, Tohru was elated. Nesting kicked in right away, and she honestly over-prepared for their new arrival, her excitement constantly evident. Kyo was a little more conflicted. He was thrilled to be able to have a child with the woman he loved so much, but also terrified as all hell. With the way his past had been, he felt there was absolutely no way that he was cut out for raising another human being. Tohru tried to not let him dwell on it too much, getting him involved in the planning as a distraction and showering him with love to let him know how amazing he was going to be. Eventually, her words stuck, and by the time baby Hajime arrived, Kyo was able to step into his new role of dad with relative ease.

Now Tohru was the one struggling.

The end of her pregnancy had presented challenges for her. She hated not being able to move around and do housework as easily as she did before. She had also dealt with some blood pressure issues, resulting in her doctor telling her to take an early leave from work and spend her time resting at home until her son made his appearance. As much as Tohru already loved her baby and was so excited to bring him home someday soon, she also felt very uneasy about being on bedrest. Firstly, she and Kyo could have really used the extra money she usually brought home from her job. Secondly, she felt incredibly _antsy_. She felt like she wasn't doing anything useful, which caused her already small amount of self confidence to essentially crumble.

With help and reassurance from Kyo, she had gotten through that, though. The biggest issue took place in the delivery room - her mom couldn't be there.

Tohru had certainly felt her mother's absence throughout her entire pregnancy. Her mom wasn't there to help her pick out baby clothes and what color to paint the nursery, or to help her plan a baby shower. But as soon as Tohru felt the first contraction and was dragged to the hospital by Kyo, it hit her like a tidal wave. She was _scared._ She wanted her mom. Her baby wouldn't have a grandmother.

And what if…

Hajime was a week old now. Most of the time, Tohru was able to ignore the anxiety that had reared its ugly head so suddenly at the hospital on Hajime's birthday. But there were certainly times when it crept back into the corners of her mind, shaking her to her core. Tonight was one of those times.

Kyo had been on paternity leave alongside Tohru, so he'd been home with her and the baby constantly. This had helped curb her irrational fretting. But inevitably, they ran out of diapers and wipes, and actual food for _themselves_ , so Kyo had to go to the store tonight. Tohru had the incredibly strong urge to hold onto him and cry like a small child, begging him not to leave her. She'd held herself back, of course, and simply gave him a strained smile and thanked him for going to the store.

Now, she was sitting in the center of their queen-sized bed. Her legs were crossed into a pretzel, and Hajime was resting on them, surrounded by pillows as an extra, probably unnecessary safety precaution. He was finally asleep, after putting up a good fight. Tohru couldn't force herself to do anything but just stare at him. He was beautiful. His eyes were identical to hers - large and a chocolate brown - while his little tufts of hair were orange like his father's locks, though in a more muted tone.

She loved him so much. She had never loved anything this much, and she didn't know it was even _possible_ to feel such an overwhelming sense of adoration.

And maybe that was part of the problem. Maybe she didn't know how to handle such an intense emotion without turning it into fear.

Tohru heard the click of the front door shutting, and then the subtle creaking of the floorboards in the hallway. She heaved a sigh of relief at the fact that her husband was home now, then grimaced and braced herself for the cry she expected a disturbed Hajime to let out. When Kyo appeared in the doorway, she hurriedly looked over to him and pressed a finger to her lips.

"Is he asleep?" Kyo whispered. Tohru nodded.

Kyo tiptoed into the room and sank down on the bed next to Tohru, careful not to make the mattress shake at all. He pressed a kiss to her temple before turning his attention to their son.

"He's been really fussy today, huh?"

Tohru nodded again. "I think he might be getting a cold."

Kyo chuckled. "He's okay, Tohru. Babies just get fussy sometimes. How would he have caught a cold already, anyway?"

He made a good point.

When Tohru didn't respond, Kyo reached over and took her long brown hair in his hand, tucking it behind her ear so he could clearly see her face. Her cheeks were red, and her eyes glassy. Just like he'd thought, she was upset about something. He didn't understand why she still occasionally thought she could hide her feelings from him.

"Tohru?"

Tohru bit her trembling lower lip and looked over at her husband, tears welling up in her eyes.

"I love him so much."

Kyo gave her a half-smile, trying to mask his slight confusion. "I know...but that's not why you're crying, is it?"

She shook her head and took a moment to gather herself.

"I'm so scared, Kyo," she whispered, voice breaking into a sob.

"Hey, hey," Kyo cooed, rubbing his palm in circles against her back. If it weren't for the baby sleeping in her lap, he would have tugged her over into a hug. But if the baby woke up, Tohru would stop talking to him about what was wrong, and it would take some serious prompting to get her to ever start up again. "What are you so scared of?"

"I…" Tohru trailed off, not sure where to start. "Everything. I'm afraid that if I touch him wrong, I'll hurt him. I'm afraid that he's not going to grow up happy. That I'm not going to be good enough. Mostly…"

She paused and looked over at Kyo, who nodded in encouragement, waiting for her to finish her thought.

"My mom...Hajime won't have a grandma. And...my mom died when I was so young. What if I do, too? I can't leave him, Kyo, I just can't."

She was a wreck at this point, tears flowing freely, her nose snotty, and her face puffy. It hurt to have to confront all these feelings. But it was also oddly comforting, being able to break down in front of Kyo without judgment. That was something she'd always loved about their relationship, the honesty and the give-and-take.

Next to her, Kyo stiffened, clearly not sure how to respond to that. He had never been confident in his way with words in the first place, and really, what could he say now that wouldn't upset Tohru further? Insisting, "You're not going to die," would just lead to an argument. He could almost hear her yelling, "You don't know that!" in response.

After a minute, Kyo got himself together. He needed to hold her. That would be his first step. He reached over and gingerly picked up their baby, standing and walking over to the crib in the corner, careful not to shake him and consequently wake him up. Once Hajime was safely in his crib and still asleep, Kyo went back to the bed and pulled Tohru into his lap. She sat sideways with her legs draped across him, and dug her face into his chest as she cried. Her sobs increased in intensity until she was nearly hyperventilating. Kyo knew he had to say something, _anything_ , to keep her from having a full-blown panic attack like she had been prone to since the end of her pregnancy.

"Tohru," he whispered, kissing the top of her head. "Hey, look at me."

Reluctantly, Tohru lifted her head and met his gaze, trying to control her breathing. Kyo took her face in both his hands.

"Listen. I know you're scared. I understand. But you can't dwell on that."

Tohru tried to free her head, sobbing again, but Kyo didn't let go.

"Hey, look at me," he repeated, then continued once she complied again. "Your dad dying so young, and then your mom later, was really shitty. It was a really rough hand you got dealt. It makes sense to be afraid. But what're the odds that's going to happen to you, too?"

She whimpered slightly as he spoke, not wanting to listen to him anymore. He wasn't helping, even though she knew he was trying. He was only making it worse.

"You're here, and you're healthy, and you're safe. And Hajime is, too. He's healthy, and he's so _so_ beautiful. Look at what we made, Tohru. You carried him and then brought him into this world, where he has two parents who love him so _fucking_ much. You're amazing. I know you won't let this get the best of you. You have to enjoy the time you have with him when he's this little. Sooner than we want to think about, he'll be moving out and leaving _us_. You're not going to leave him first. You're going to see him graduate high school, and get married, and have kids."

Once he'd finished his rather rambly speech, he released Tohru's cheeks at last, and she leaned her forehead against his shoulder. Somewhere along the line, her breathing had settled a bit. "I'm sorry," she choked out.

"Don't do that. Don't apologize for telling me how you feel."

She nodded a bit. He had to remind her of that more than she liked to admit.

"Okay..thank you. I love you."

"I love you, too. So much. And you're gonna be a great mom. If Hajime ends up messed up, it's because his father's a total wreck, not you."

She laughed a bit and looked up at Kyo again. "Oh, whatever."

He lifted her hand and kissed her palm, then all the way up her arm, making her giggle a bit as his lips tickled the sensitive skin.

"I'm right here with you," he added. "We're in this together."

She hummed in agreement, rubbing furiously at her eyes to clear away the leftover tears. She glanced over her shoulder towards the crib.

"How did he sleep through all that noise I was making?"

"He's stubborn," Kyo answered immediately. "Like both of us. He's gonna cause a lot of trouble someday."

Tohru felt herself smile, _genuinely_ smile for the first time in days. "That's okay, though."

Kyo nodded and watched as she got up and carefully approached the crib. She leaned over the railing and narrowed her eyes slightly.

"What's wrong?" Kyo asked, coming up behind her. "What're you doing?"

"Counting his fingers and toes," she admitted, giving Kyo an impish smile. "To make sure he has them all. I don't really know why, but I do that sometimes."

"Mmm. So _that's_ why you're so obsessed with his little hands and feet."

She giggled, then bit her lip to stifle it. "Do you want to help?"

Kyo shot her a heart-melting grin. "You're such a dork."

"But I'm _your_ dork," she pointed out.

"Yeah. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I've got my two favorite people, even though one of them is a big dork." He rolled his eyes playfully, then reached over and tilted Tohru's head back to plant a chaste kiss to her lips. When they parted, he whispered, "I'm so lucky."

Tohru nodded and turned around to kiss him fully. "Me too," she mumbled against his lips. "So, so lucky."

**Author's Note:**

> When I was pregnant with my son, I struggled with a lot of anxiety because my last pregnancy had ended in a miscarriage. When I was reflecting today, I considered that Tohru might similarly struggle with anxiety when it comes to her son, but for different reasons. So this drabble was written to explore that. I hope you enjoyed!


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